it’s a believer issue too

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28

“God will never give us more than we can handle.”

Which one of the three statements above is NOWHERE in the Bible?

How many of us have used the above last statement before? (God will never give us more than we can handle.)

How many of us have had that very same phrase thrown back at us when we were deep in our trials and struggles?

I admit, it used to roll right off my tongue, and I always felt so wise and encouraging throwing that out there to someone who was reaching for a lifeline, like I had just given them the golden ticket of encouraging words.

Except I hadn’t.

There is nothing true about those words, nor were they encouraging when life became incredibly challenging after my dad’s sudden and unexpected death a month after my marriage, or when, my brand-new marriage started going off the rails shortly after he passed, or as I fell deeper and deeper into a silent darkness and loneliness.

Those words only drove me to pretend, and to hide and to bury my true hurt and struggles, until finally everything came crashing down on me when the truth of my first marriage, all the years and the layers of lies, deception, and betrayal were brought into the light.

Suddenly, I had way more than I could handle.

Depression, a deep sense of sadness. Depression, an intense feeling of darkness in my soul. Depression, feelings of hopelessness, of deep, deep shame, the inability to go on, extreme fatigue, no joy, pain, both physical and mental, it tried to pull me into isolation, away from others, even those who cared for me.

It was a black hole that I couldn’t see my way out of, but I dared to tell NO ONE…because I am saved. I am a Christian, and believers who get depressed, lack faith, because “God would never give us more than we can handle”…or so that’s the misinformation that I had dished out and had been handed down through generations.

Those were my thoughts years ago when I met depression for the first and fortunately so far, the last time in my life. I experienced a very, very dark period of depression, years to be exact, and I can tell you it was not from lack of faith, and it was not “in my head,” nor was it simply a matter of “pulling myself up by the bootstraps” and moving on. It took intentional work, and lots of prayer, and support from others.

Even now, as I am sharing this, I fight the feeling of a deep sense of shame and embarrassment, and the fear of being judged as weak. Even now, being so vulnerable about this doesn’t feel good at all. I feel naked and exposed, but my belief that this needs to be shared, and that this is what God is leading me to write about, drives me to share my story in hopes of encouraging others, and to share why faith was my game changer through depression.

Now, before I go any deeper, I want to be clear, there are many different types of depression. Events in your life cause some, and chemical changes in your brain cause others. Mine was triggered by events in my life. So, my depression was what my counselors and ministers called, “situational depression.”

I also want to make it known that, I, in no way profess to be the expert or have all the answers about depression. It is an incredibly complex subject. I am simply sharing my experience to…

1. Make it known that Christians/believers can experience depression even if our faith is deeply rooted in Christ, and, to confirm that the, ”God will never give us more than we can handle,” statement is absolutely nowhere to be found in the Bible. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. God will absolutely give us more than we can handle on our own if that’s what it takes for us to surrender our will and pride and turn to Him to guide us through the storms.

2. Folks, we have an epidemic of great magnitude in our world today that is taking the lives of many, in staggering numbers, especially our youth. We have got to step up and speak hope into their lives. We need to do our due diligence to understand mental illness and not make it so shameful that people would rather die than talk to someone, we’ve got to show more compassion, and to help them find help, and hope, and to see and believe that there is a light that overcomes the darkness of this world.

Again, I want to emphasize this is not coming from a place of judgment, pride, assumption, or presuming that this blog will even begin to “fit” or “fix” every situation.

So, what exactly prompted this particular topic this week? Besides my personal experience with depression, and walking through it with people I love, in the last few years there has hardly been a month that goes by where I don’t hear of someone I know who is struggling with depression, or someone in their family is, or their good friend is. Depression is at an all-time high, not just in this country, but according to multiple sources, throughout the world.

photo by Anna Dziubinska @annadziubinska

I have heard of more deaths by suicide than my heart or mind can even process, especially of young kids and young adults. In fact, I had lunch with a dear friend this week who shared with me that a young family member she just saw and spoke to recently, took his life just a few short weeks after she had seen him. This was a young man who had an incredibly bright future ahead of him and came from a good Christian home and family.

The World Health Organization says the following about depression, and it aligns with the majority of other research I found on this subject.
WHO depression-statistics
Depression is a common illness worldwide. Approximately 280 million people in the world have depression. Depression is different from usual mood fluctuations and short-lived emotional responses to challenges in everyday life.
At its worst, depression can lead to suicide. Over 700,000 people die due to suicide every year. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in 15-29-year-olds.
Barriers to effective care include a lack of resources, lack of trained health-care providers and social stigma associated with mental disorders.

Depression is real, it knows no boundaries, and it is most definitely on the rise. It is not bias to race, color, age, social status, economic status, or religious beliefs. However, what I can tell you from my experience is this: even though I, a strong follower and lover of Christ struggled for quite a few years with depression, it was my foundation of faith that pulled me through and pulled me out.

God allowed me to face much more than I could handle on my own, but He did not leave me there all alone. Like the scriptures from Isaiah and Matthew above say, He was faithful to hold me up when I could not stand on my own by giving me strength. When I was weak and confused, and when I was weary and needed rest, He gave me rest.

God did not “cause” my depression. We have darkness because we live in a fallen world and none of us will escape any of the pain that comes with that, but a foundation of faith can be the lifeboat to help rescue us from the deep. I am a firm believer that my faith is what kept me from spiraling much deeper into depression, and while I believe God allowed what I went through, He faithfully used it to my greater good.

God used my struggles to pull me closer to Him, to break me of my prideful nature, to surrender control, and to allow other followers of Christ, my church community, to lift me up and help restore me.

Important Sidenote:

Friends, I’d like to take this opportunity to encourage you to find a community of believers. We are created for community. We were not meant to walk this journey alone. We were also created to be the bridge for others when they are broken. That is a way in which we serve one another, and that gives deep joy to those we serve and those we allow to serve us. We need one another, and my experience with depression drove this home for me.

Now, back to faith and our mental health and how they are tied together.

Faith most definitely affects our mental health, and a healthy mind is a healthy soul. There are many studies through the years that prove that people who have faith seem to cope better with stress, and they are better able to make sense of negative things that happen to them. Also, they generally have a community of believers to rally around them in difficult times. So they tend to feel less isolated and alone.

Here are six ways my faith sustained me in my walk-through depression.

1. Most importantly, even in my depression, Faith gave me a higher sense of purpose. I knew deep down there was meaning to my life because I knew what scripture said about me, no matter what I thought about myself.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalms 139:13-16

2. Faith influenced my decisions. I knew enough to seek Godly counsel from other believers and people who would tell me truth, and not what I necessarily wanted to hear. I intentionally chose to surround myself with people who would hold me accountable to do what was right and be responsible for my actions, but also pray over me, and for me.

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16

3. Faith gave me a hope in spite of the darkness. I won’t lie. I often had to fight to feel it and find it, but it was there in the depths of my soul because my faith had deep roots in the word of God. The Holy Spirit kept interceding for me and reminding me of God’s faithfulness and His promises.

photo by Hillie Chan @understandinggrace

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

4. Faith gave me a sense of structure. I didn’t realize this was a benefit of my faith until I struggled with depression, but because I had always had a structure with my faith and reading the Bible and going to church, etc., it was just something that pulled me up each day and kept me going. The basis of faith is trust and I was reminded I had always lived not knowing what tomorrow would hold. This time was no different.

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

5. Faith gave me a sense of peace in the chaos.

photo by Barnabas Hertelendy @barnabas_1

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2

6. A key part of faith is servanthood. Knowing that serving others was a good way of getting out of myself and my own darkness in order to help someone else, lifted my spirits. Over time I was reminded of my own blessings, and serving others helped me realize my life was really good, and that there is always someone out there struggling much harder than me.

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Galatians 5:13-14

Pulling it all together…

People, especially our youth, are hurting and struggling, and it’s believers and non-believers alike. People are struggling to find hope and the desire to fight the good fight. I could go into all the reasons, but that would be an entirely new blog.

I won’t profess that the six things I list above will be the magic bullet for everyone, or anyone for that matter, but I can attest that digging into my faith is what pulled me out of that pit.

I encourage you today, if you are struggling with depression, or someone you love is struggling, please get help. Please talk to someone. Do not be ashamed. Do not isolate yourself because satan (I REFUSE to capitalize that name) will use that to drag you to the pit of despair, but God can pull you up and set your feet on solid ground.

So, humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 1 Peter 5:6

Resources:

Getting Professional Help for Depression-from the Website: choosing therapy
Depression is a serious mental health disorder and the symptoms of depression can be debilitating. Depression can become a chronic problem that persists for years if left untreated. Even people who function at a high level in spite of feeling depressed, those who describe themselves as living with high functioning depression, can quickly find a depressive disorder getting the upper hand and negatively impacting their personal and professional life.
The sooner depression is treated, the better. It can be hard to take that first step and ask for help, but there are effective therapy options for depression which can lead to a significant reductions in the severity and duration of symptoms related to depression. Website: choosing therapy