wisdom gained
lessons worth sharing
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Greg, my husband and I often chat about the wisdom we have now, versus what we thought we had when we were younger, and how knowing what we know now makes life seem like it’s lived backwards in a strange way. The wisdom I had at 27 doesn’t even begin to compare with that of my 57-year-old self. At 57, I know now that there are some things I would have done differently. However, I wouldn’t have the wisdom I have now had I not made the choices that taught me to reflect and grow.
My hope is that you will understand that God willing I have grown and will continue to grow in wisdom until my final breath. I, like you, am and will be a work-in-progress as long as I have breath in these lungs. So, please do not misunderstand this as me preaching or bragging. At the end, I’ll share some wisdoms I have gained throughout life so far.
I believe God gives us wisdom to share with the younger generations following after us, and I believe that you don’t have to be 100 to have wisdom. I believe that wisdom begins developing when we realize we need help, ask God to give us that help to discern experiences, and when we are able to be introspective, to own our decisions and choices, and learn from them.
That being said, I do believe that the older we are, the greater the depth of our wisdom. Obviously, the more life we live, the more life we have to base our wisdom on, and the more of life we have to reflect upon to glean those beautiful nuggets of truth from. That is, IF we make a habit of being introspective.
So what is wisdom made of? How do we gain wisdom?
Scholars, Dr. Dilip Jeste & Dr. Ipsit Vahia, identified three types of wisdom. These are not the only types ever identified, but I found these to be most applicable to my experience thus far in life. Jeste & Havia say the three types of wisdom are cognitive, which involves knowledge and the ability to think critically, reflective wisdom, involves introspection and self-awareness, and compassionate wisdom, involves empathy and concern for others.
When I break each of these down, I hope it will help explain why I find them applicable to the wisdom I have gained so far in my 57 years of life.
photo by Margarida Afonso @mrafonso1976
Cognitive wisdom involves knowledge and the ability to think critically. The cognitive power of our mind includes perception, working memory, long-term memory, reasoning, learning, problem solving and decision making.
Scripture tells us…
The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. Proverbs 14:15 ESV
Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything. 2 Timothy 2:7 ESV
When I experience something in life that ultimately has the power to teach me a life lesson, good or bad, I apply the above cognitive powers of my mind in order to discern and critically think about the experience. I then use reasoning to understand how I got to where I am, and why I’m in that situation and apply it to long-term memory in order to retrieve it again when necessary.
Therefore, cognitive wisdom is wisdom that helps me critically discern what I need to pull from an experience in order to learn from it.
photo by Jamie Street @jamie452
Reflective wisdom. While the focus here is on introspection and self-awareness, without seeking God’s word and truth in this area, we can easily become prideful, self-righteous, we can deceive ourselves, and even the enemy can deceive with lies. Wisdom definitely comes through introspection and self-awareness. If we don’t dig into lessons, choices, mistakes, we’ll never grow in wisdom, but we need God’s help for an accurate view.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV
For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6 NIV
We need God to open our eyes and hearts to what we are to own and learn from a choice or experience. The purest, truest, most unselfish wisdom comes from Him. We aren’t pure enough or honest enough with ourselves to identify all our own weaknesses and faults, and the greatest wisdom comes when we invite God’s reflective wisdom to guide us.
photo by Meghna R @darkandflawed
Compassionate wisdom, to me is something we develop after walking a mile, not necessarily in someone’s exact shoes, but a wisdom that comes after we get knocked down a few times in life. This life is HARD. It’s no secret, but it often takes our own degree from the school of hard knocks to develop empathy and compassion for others who struggle.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 NIV
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 NIV
Compassionate wisdom teaches us how to walk alongside of others, people like us, people unlike us, people who are lost and searching, people who are rejoicing, and those who are hurting and weary. Compassionate wisdom is best seen through the life of Jesus. Living out this kind of wisdom is a greater testimony than any word we could ever speak.
There are plenty of opportunities throughout life to gain wisdom, but it takes intentionality and discipline to take the time to stop and put forth the effort to introspect, and God needs to be a part of the equation. Sometimes He puts people in our path that can guide us. We have His word that can lead us. We have prayer that allows us to go to Him seeking His guidance and truth.
“To become wise is to become a disciplined person, given not to impulsiveness but to self-examination, to circumspection, and to clear thinking.” ~Timothy Keller
This is a list I have been jotting down for a few weeks as they have come to mind.
Wisdom gained…lessons worth sharing.
You and you alone are responsible for your happiness, not your spouse or partner, your kids, your boss, just you.
Your past is the past. Learn from it but stop living there. It sucks the life out of your present. Your present is the gift you have today.
The only affirmation you need is from God, not from your spouse or partner, your kids, your boss. Just God’s.
What goes around, truly will come around. Treat people how you want to be treated!
If you have a problem getting along with a person here or there, that’s life. If you have a problem getting along with most people you encounter, it’s time to look in the mirror.
Life is seldom greener…
Be careful how you judge your parents. If you’re a parent, it just might come back to bite you in the butt!
If you don’t own your mistakes and learn from them, you will never gain the wisdom necessary to stop repeating them.
In your youth if you do not discipline yourself with your faith, finances, and health, you will struggle to manage those areas later in life.
Your kids won’t be perfect. It’s OK. Neither were/are you.
Don’t believe what you see on social media.
Truly pray for your enemies. It makes YOU and better you.
A perfectly clean house often equals an empty house. It’s better to have signs of life in your home than to live in a museum. (This applies to kids and spouses messes. LOL)
A home that is clean, warm, and inviting is better than a perfectly decorated house. Don’t wait to open your home. Life is too short.
Pick your battles. Trust me, you will have plenty throughout your life. Save your energy for the ones that really matter.
Your kids are going to tell you they hate you. So, what? That means you’re likely doing your job.
There will be days you don’t like your kids. Yes! It’s true! You still love them, but you don’t like them.
Your spouse is NOT the enemy in a fight. The enemy is the enemy. He seeks to destroy all marriages and families.
Couples that do money together have a stronger bond and a deeper trust.
Couples who are fiscally wise together have more later in life and are generally happier.
It’s not about winning or losing an argument; it’s how you speak to one another in the heat of the moment. It’s learning to agree to disagree. That is mandatory. You will not always agree!
Jealousy of any kind will destroy you, a marriage, a friendship, or a family. If jealousy exists it needs to be brought into the light and dealt with.
Successful couples do get counseling. It’s true. It doesn’t always mean you’re headed for failure. It’s a good sign you have a healthy awareness of your challenges and you care enough to address them to build a deeper bond.
Know your neighbors. You might be surprised who’s there for you in an emergency, or who you might be honored to serve in their time of need.
Isolation is not living. Life is out among people of all ages, colors, cultures, being a part of something much, much bigger than just you.
NEVER forget The One who loves you, created you, and gave His life for you.
Don’t ignore God along the way when all is good, and then blame Him when something goes wrong. Love Him always. He is your most faithful companion on your journey.
Thank you, Father for being my best friend, who loves me just as I am, and faithfully walking this journey with me, and for helping me gain wisdom along the way. Amen.
