even when we fail
photo credit: Michael Dziedzic @lazycreekimages
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” —Robert F. Kennedy
“He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” (Psalm 40:2-3)
Failure is inevitable. If you want to live life, I mean really live, you must try, take risks, put yourself out there, trust, be vulnerable, and when we try, we are going to fail, often times way more than we succeed.
I like to think of failure this way, failure is in the eye of the beholder. I know, you are likely thinking I misquoted that.
It’s really beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but to me it’s the same concept, insert a different word. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder means that everyone sees beauty differently and what may be beautiful to me might not at all be beautiful to you.
This same application can be applied to failure.
Now, I’m not denying there is a universal understanding/definition of failure, and I know there is such a thing as failure.
To fail, according to dictionary.com, is, “to be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goal, [or] neglecting to do something.” This is true, missing a target or goal, or neglecting to do something of impact, especially when it affects another person in any way, is failing.
However, what I am talking about is how I do or don’t allow my failures to define me, and how God uses our failures to strengthen us and glorify Him and His kingdom. No one can define how failure impacts me, but me. I get to decide, and I get to decide what I will or won’t do with the remnants/lessons when I do miss the mark. The world around you will try, but in the end, only you get to have the final say on that subject.
To quote from, gotquestions.org, “To fail from time to time is only human, but to be a “failure” is when we are defeated by failure, refusing to rise and try again. Christians sometimes believe they should be immune to failure by virtue of their relationship with God, but the truth is that God often allows us to fail for a variety of reasons. Job 14:1 says, "Man born of woman is of few days and full of trouble.” That doesn’t say “unbelievers” or “the ungodly.” It says man born of woman.
What does that mean? Everyone. Life is full of trouble, even for those who belong to God through faith in Christ. We are to expect it. This means God does not promise life to be without problems, sorrow, and, yes, failure, just because we believe in Him.
Luke 9:1-5 describes how Jesus sent His disciples out to preach the gospel and perform miracles. He also taught them how to handle failure. “If people do not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town, as a testimony against them."
Jesus wanted the soon-to-be apostles to model themselves after Him. He gave them power and authority over the devils, power to heal the sick, etc.
Most of all, Jesus wanted them to have boldness. He knew that not everyone was going to receive the truth about Him, but in saying “Shake the dust from your feet,” He meant for them to move on and plow forward. Witnessing and being rejected can make us feel like failures, but if we understand we are to expect it (John 15:18), what appears to be failure actually becomes a badge of honor.” (Bible-failure)
photo credit: Danique Photography @daniqueter
I honestly cannot count the number of times I have failed in my 55 years of life, but I can assure you it has been way more than I have succeeded. I wish I had a quarter for each time I berated myself and allowed failure to hold me down in shame and fear, especially before I truly understood that even when we fail, God still sees us exactly as He did before we failed.
I wish I would have seen it much earlier as a “badge of honor” more than a scarlet letter of shame.
I grew up with a twisted perspective on messing up, and making mistakes. Rather than seeing God in the midst of it all as a loving Father who wanted me to be better from the mistake, I told myself He was a Father who wanted me to feel shame and self-loathing.
As a side note, parents, grandparents, anyone impacting the lives of young children, I would highly encourage you to talk to and share with them your failures. Help them to understand the positives that came from those mistakes, talk to them about God’s faithfulness in the midst of your darkness, or maybe how He used that failure to grow or change you.
Also speak to the pain that can result, but most importantly, teach them how to not live-in shame and fear, and that failing is human. Teach them it’s more important to own it and course correct because even when we fail, God still sees us and loves us, and wants to wash away our dirt.
As Christians, our salvation changes our nature, but it does not blind God from the reality of who we are and what we do as if we have “pulled the wool over” on God’s eyes. For unbelievers, God not only sees their failures and sins but will judge them accordingly because he is just/fair. (Psalm 94).
On the other hand, while God does observe a Christian’s failures (even their sinful failures), he looks at them differently than he did before they were saved because we are covered by the blood of Christ. This does not mean that He removes the natural consequences of our sins. We will reap what we sow, but God releases us from the permanent consequences of Hell, because of Jesus.
photo credit: Junior REIS @juniorreisfoto
Even when we fail, we have value and worth, and God can, and does use our failures to shape us, to refine us, and to be a witness of His goodness and mercy.
The word “fail” occurs ~70 times in the Bible.
Clearly God knew we would fail, but because God is not a God of coincidence, He gave us multiple examples to learn from throughout scripture, and in each and every one of the examples is a person who failed often times over and over, and yet God still deemed them worthy and used them for His glory.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
God’s view of failure is nothing like the world’s view, thank heavens!
The worldly view of failure will keep you down. It will always make you feel less than, always keep you reaching for more and more approval, it will never quench your thirst or appetite, it will never allow you to rest, and it will always tell you, you are not enough, keep striving.
Reading through scripture I see time and time again where it’s the least likely God uses, those who fail over and over, for example, Moses, Abraham, Sarah, Solomon, King David, and so on.
I can also look back over my life and see where time and time again, God has used me in my weakness and brokenness to speak into the lives of others, to be His light in the darkness, or to be His hands and feet to those who needed a hand up or some encouragement.
God views our failures as opportunities!
What a gift of grace and mercy, forging and refining us through our mistakes and failures rather than writing us off as a lost cause.
Here are four ways I have personally experienced God using my failures for good that can apply to anyone’s life.
1. God uses failure to transform us, from the inside out:
photo credit: Aspirations ConceptBy: wildpixel
I can look back, all throughout my life and see the areas God has used to transform me from the inside out.
In college I didn’t think I needed God’s wisdom on dating, and I ended up in some pretty unhealthy relationships. When I decided to get married, despite three engagements to the same man, which should have been a red flag, I didn’t seek God’s will nor did I pay attention to the people in my life who saw the warning signs and spoke truth into my life.
As a young wife, instead of seeking Godly counsel when troubles began, I read Cosmopolitan and self-help books seeking wisdom and discernment. I was also too proud to let anyone know the truth of what was going on within the walls of our home.
As a Mom, I missed opportunities to be who my sons needed me to be because of my pride and my need to be in control.
As self-centered people, we tend to go about our lives independent of God, until of course we hit a snafu and reality sets in that we really are not in control. When life is going well, we rarely rely on our Heavenly Father and His strength.
Fortunately, as we are told in the book of Lamentations (3:22), “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.”
When God wants to transform us, when He wants to humble us, He will use our limitations and inability to move the mountains in front of us, to open our eyes so that we can see ourselves for what we truly are and see God for who He truly is.
We are sinful, weak people who, without the grace and mercy of our Lord and Savior, are unable to live for him in our present, sinful bodies.
Thankfully, God restored me, but He did not remove all consequences or repercussions of my decisions. Instead, He used my failures to deepen my dependence on Him, to deepen the roots of my faith, and to remind me that I cannot be the person I am called to be apart from Him.
2. God can use our failures to open doors of service, and help us find our calling:
photo credit: Anna Earl @annaelizaearl
Failure is unavoidable.
Our pain and failure can give purpose and meaning to our lives.
Jesus tells us in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble.”
After several years of working through my past, a broken marriage, and raising my sons on my own, God put it on my heart to start my writing and to start a Divorce Recovery Group.
After experiencing what I did through my divorce and as a single Mom, God has shown me how to use my failed marriage, the mistakes I made as a single parent, and all that I learned in years of counseling to help others who are struggling and walking a similar road.
Davey Blackburn is an even better example of this. After his pregnant wife Amanda was killed during a home invasion, Davey was moved to find a way to help others, and to help them find purpose in their pain. While this wasn’t necessarily a direct failure of his, but rather the decisions of others that impacted Davey and his young son’s lives forever, God used this tragedy to open the door to a ministry that is now helping people all over the world.
God does not walk us through battles for us to keep the healing and the wisdom gained all to ourselves.
3. God uses our failure to transform the lives of others:
photo credit: Toa Heftiba @heftiba
In Mark 14:26-31, Peter talks about how he would never deny Jesus. ("Even if all fall away, I will not" and "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.")
And yet, we all know the story of what happens — it occurs just as Jesus said it would. Peter denies him three times at his trial, and after he had denied Jesus the third time, "he broke down and wept" (Mark 14:72).
After this, the Bible tells us that Peter thinks he is unworthy and returns to his old life as a fisherman. All of the disciples go with him.
The good news in all of this is that Peter was restored by Jesus, who is merciful, and just as Jesus restored Peter who became the rock on which Jesus built His church, and you and I reap those blessings, Jesus can restore our failures to bless others and YOU too.
I have often felt incredibly unworthy due to my failures, and questioned if there was any way possible God would use me, but God is using me to speak hope and encouragement into the lives of others through being vulnerable in sharing my mistakes and the lessons learned through my failures.
Growing up, I believed that I was unstoppable in my Christian walk and that I’d never make “those” mistakes but through my failed experiences, God has caused me to reevaluate my spiritual journey and help me to understand that God can indeed use broken things.
4. God uses our failure to reveal our sin so we can change our behavior, and in doing so, change our future:
photo credit: Drew Beamer @drew_beamer
God can use our brokenness and our failed experiences to reveal our sin and change the course of our lives forever. In our brokenness, it is safe to say that we need Jesus. But in our sinful state, it is often impossible for us to admit this.
I know this was definitely the case for me. I have had times throughout my life where I lived in sin. I basically turned my back on God to the point where I didn’t even realize that my sins were actually sins.
It wasn’t until I had my biggest mess up that God was really able to reveal my life for what it actually was. The bible tells us in Psalm 34 verse 18 that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
When we are in a state of brokenness, when we feel as though we’ve failed God completely, we are much more open and willing to listen to what God has to say. God is then able to use these moments to reveal the defects in our character, that would otherwise be difficult (or almost impossible) for us to see.
If God hadn’t gotten my attention when I was living in sin, He surely got my attention after someone I respect and care for deeply called me out on my hypocrisy. That was the true turning point for me, and I’ll be forever grateful that God got my attention before I made even bigger and more permanent bad decisions.
God allows the failures in our lives to show us where we have sin in our life or where we need to grow so that he can shape us into the person God wants us to become.
1 Peter 5:10 tells us that “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast”.
God’s view of failure is nothing like the world’s view, thank heavens!
The worldly view of failure will keep you down. It will always make you feel less than, always keep you reaching for more and more approval, it will never quench your thirst or appetite, it will never allow you to rest, and it will always tell you, you are not enough, keep striving.
God views our failures as opportunities!
Just what if our dirt is what God uses to wash others clean?
God can take the dirt we get ourselves into, mix it with cleansing water, craft a beautiful piece of pottery, fill us with Living Water, and when we pour ourselves out to others who are lost or hurting by sharing our story, God is then using us and our dirt to wash others clean.
photo credit: SwapnIl Dwivedi @momentance
Something to consider: Have you bought into the lies that your failures define you? Can you trust that God is not done with you yet and He can use your dirty past or present to mold and shape you? Do you need a reminder of God’s redemption? If so, you might be interested in reading this, Beth Moore: Remember Peter’s Failure.
For more encouragement:
