the good stuff
“Moments or experiences in life that are too sweet, too intense, or too beautiful to be described by mere words are called #thegoodstuff.”
~Melinda Olsen
Do you ever experience those moments in life that you just can’t describe in words, but they are so sweet and precious that you wish you could? Have you ever had an experience that left you without words to express that experience to anyone else, yet it was so powerful, and it breathed new life into your weary soul? Have you ever had those times where something was so wonderful, and yet hurt your heart at the same time and you couldn’t explain it?
I call those #thegoodstuff of life.
For the record, when I started using this hashtag, I was not aware that there was already a social media hashtag for this group or category, but later learned that one did indeed exist. So, I don’t believe it originated from me, but when I started using it, I used it for the reasons mentioned above.
photo by Gary Butterfield @garybpt
I read that the hashtag (#) was started sometime around 2007. I’m not really certain of the exact date, and I found some discrepancies on google, but that seems about right. I remember that is about the time I started using it and seeing it used on social media posts, and even began hearing people say “#love” or “#happy”. This symbol is used on social media as a way to identify that something belongs to a specific category.
Nonetheless, whenever it started being used, what I do recall with certainty, is my sons teasing me, all in jest of course, for using #thegoodstuff when I would occasionally post something on social media that I couldn’t really describe any other way.
Sometimes it was a beautiful sunrise or sunset, maybe a chance encounter with an old friend, a moment so special you can’t put it into words, or maybe a photo that brought laughter and tears.
For me, #thegoodstuff identifies those moments or experiences in life that you can’t describe, but you don’t want to forget. You want to hold them in your heart forever. Those moments when you feel overwhelmed by the goodness of God. #Thegoodstuff is also when you don’t want to show up because it hurts, but you do because the joy gained from showing up is greater than the pain of being in the moment.
In the survey I sent out to all of you a few weeks ago, someone asked me to write about, “humility, look what God did when I waited on him.” Being that I am a processor, I tucked that idea away to think about and to discern if there was any way I could possibly summarize all the ways God has shown up when I’ve waited on him, and to consider if I could truly say I waited with a humble spirit.
photo by Levi Meir Clancy @levimeirclancy
Humility is something that is always being challenged and always being perfected because we live in a broken/fallen world. So, to be clear, I am not saying that I have always waited with a humble spirit, but I can attest to God’s faithfulness and goodness in the waiting, and in his tenderness when those answers don’t look like the answers I prayed for or longed for.
As all things are with God and his timing, he provided me with an example of his goodness, faithfulness, and tenderness this very weekend. This weekend, I received an answer to a prayer that started six or more years ago.
This weekend my oldest son and his wife hosted a family get together at their home. They invited my mom, my siblings and their kids (his cousins), his cousins families, and of course his brother Daniel was there. You might be thinking, so what? What’s the big deal about that?
To some this may be a normal thing, and I get it. I grew up that way, and my kids grew up getting together with family, but what you wouldn’t know, is that there were years where my son was distanced from my family. Out of respect for him, there’s no need to go into all the details, but what’s important to know is that he had put space between his life and all of them.
This space he created for himself also created a void in my life because for quite a few years, none of my sons joined me in family events with my immediate family, or Greg’s family. There was a time when I wasn’t sure if we would ever have another family get together where any of my sons and their significant others would be present. I wasn’t sure if my mom or family would ever meet any of my grandchildren.
photo by Juan Davila @juanster
I wanted his wounds to be healed. I wanted to fix all the things that had gotten us to this point. Would things ever be the same again? Would there be healing, forgiveness, or letting go? I felt this constant internal battle of defending my family versus defending my son. My heart was torn, feeling as though I had to choose, all self-induced of course.
My nuclear family already looked nothing like I thought it would because of the divorce. My relationship with my middle son has been so unpredictable and full of pain for far too many years. There were so many contributing factors to the hurt and anger of everyone, and I couldn’t control it or fix it, but I was bearing the brunt of it all. There were so many things that were tearing my nuclear world apart, and now this darkness was growing bigger.
This darkness was now spreading to the relationships with my extended families. I was angry and frustrated that God wouldn’t just fix this now. Why was he not answering this simple selfless prayer immediately?
photo by Cdoncel @cdoncel
This pain was so consuming that finally I had to lay it at the foot of the cross. I wish I could say I did so humbly, but that would be a lie. I only did it because it was too much for me to bear.
I want to take a moment here to reiterate a point I have made in most of my writings, we are not meant to do this life alone. Trust me. This world will eat you alive. You need a community of believers who can pray for you and lift you up when you are too broken and weary to do it yourself.
“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2 ESV)
I am thankful for all the prayer warriors that share in this journey with me. I am grateful for the women who have prayed over me, my children, and my family. I am humbled to have the opportunity to pray over them and theirs as well, and especially humbled when we get to see and praise God for answered prayers.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV)
O.K., as Paul Harvey would say, “and now for the rest of the story.”
photo by Nadine Shaabana @nadineshaabana
This weekend was one of those moments in time I mentioned earlier. It was a weekend I would categorize as #thegoodstuff. I don’t have enough words to describe the joy, healing, or love my heart felt, nor can I describe the pain I had in my heart at the same time for my prodigal son who was missing from the gathering.
God’s goodness and faithfulness was in the fact that the family was reunited, and it was a happy and beautiful day, one that I wasn’t certain I would be blessed with again. God was also tender with this mama’s heart in not allowing the pain and sorrow of missing Jacob to overshadow the joy of the answered prayer.
I was asked to write about, “look what God did when I waited on him.”
God answered years and years of prayer in this one event this weekend. Not just prayers for my son, but for many family members who were there. My son and his wife and their two children hosted the entire family at their home. I believe there were 31 people in total who showed up.
photo by James Besser @jcbesser
Watching the cousins laughing and reconnecting, seeing mom get to be with everyone, and that she had the opportunity to see my son’s family’s home seemed like a dream. Watching the next generation of kiddos playing together, remembering and reliving my boys with their cousins at that age, knowing the healing that has taken place in so many hearts in order for this beautiful day to have come to fruition…would you just look at what God has done in the waiting.
I could have hounded and nagged my son about this issue all these years. I could have blamed and disrespected or refused to acknowledge his feelings. I could have chosen to distance my hurting heart from him and his family. I could have made so many choices and decisions that could have created an even greater chasm, but when we give our pain and fears to God, we have to choose to live in his peace, and we trust he is at work in ways we cannot see or imagine.
photo by Dingzeyu Li @dingzeyuli
If I had made different choices, I could have caused my son’s healing to have been delayed. I could have stirred his anger and hurt to a point where healing and reconnection might not have ever occurred. Instead, I have had a front seat, eyewitness view to the healing and the changes that God has done in my son’s life, and it has been worth the wait. This is what I call #thegoodstuff.
This is why I will never stop praying for my son, Jacob.
photo by Nathan Dumlao @nate_dumlao
God’s timing is not our timing, but his timing is perfect. God is the creator of “thegoodstuff in this life, but we don’t get to decide the timing of his answers.
