the bell
Don’t ring the bell !
I’m not going to lie, many, many times I think I have reached my breaking point and I want to drag myself to the bell and tell the world I “volunteer out!”
“SEAL training is intended to test mental and physical limits, and fewer than 20 percent complete it. When exhausted SEAL candidates reach their breaking point, they drag themselves to the Bell and ring it three times. The sound echoes through the training grounds, announcing another candidate has “volunteered out.””
This week I read about a Navy SEAL, Tim Phillips, and how he was inspired by a picture of a group of Navy SEAL candidates on the cover of Parade magazine. “The headline asked a pointed question: “Are These the Toughest Men Alive?” Although he wasn’t yet old enough to drive, an ambition became fixed in his mind: He would become a Navy SEAL.” (Quotes in both paragraphs from, Leadership Lessons from a Former Navy SEAL, Stephen E. Roth)
I thought about how Phillips was inspired by that image and how that image became his goal. As I read through his story linked above, I was reminded of how my life as a Christian is also inspired by an image, the image of Christ on the cross, the image of an empty tomb, and the question posed to all believers…
Do I believe Jesus is my Savior, The Son of The Living God, and am I tough enough to live as I am called to live as long as I am alive?
Scripture tells us in 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” This life will put us to the test, but unlike the infamous “HELL week” SEAL candidates experience, the challenges for a Christian to “not ring the bell,” tapping out of this endurance race, walking away from our faith, and taking our eyes off our motivation, (Jesus on the cross), can be even greater! Our challenge doesn’t end in a week. Our challenge lasts until we finish the race here on this earth, until our last breath.
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)
The goal of a SEAL candidate is to survive Hell week and officially become one of the toughest men in the world, a Navy SEAL. The goal of a follower of Christ is much less honorable in worldly standards but will require some of the toughest skills and endurance and the reward is not recognized here, but in eternity when you hear Jesus say, “well done my good and faithful one. You have run the race and now you’re home.”
In previous blogs, I have shared some very raw and intimate details of my struggles in this life. I have been vulnerable on purpose, but I share these not to invoke pity or to gain attention, but most importantly to share the truth of the Christian walk. It’s not for the faint of heart, and God’s word tells us, many will “ring the bell” early because this life will test our limits in all ways, spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally...
I’m not going to lie, many, many times I think I have reached my breaking point and I want to drag myself to the bell and tell the world I “volunteer out!” This life is full of trials and heartaches that will continually test our faith and our endurance, but I have experienced God’s faithfulness so many times now, that while I may grow weary and I might struggle to endure challenges, the thought of tapping out now is overpowered by having experienced His grace and mercy poured over my life and knowing one day I will have to face God and give an answer for every choice made. I cannot imagine explaining why I did not finish the race when all the power I needed, He provided for me by overcoming the grave.
As I read through the Leadership article previously mentioned, there are five leadership lessons Phillips learned in SEAL training that I find applicable to my walk as a Christian.
Lesson 1: Don’t ring the Bell
“Most SEAL candidates don’t complete BUD/S, [a 6-month SEAL training course held at the Naval Special Warfare Training Center in Coronado, CA]. Instead, they walk up to the Bell and ring it three times. Phillips didn’t. Why didn’t he?” “I believe that his perseverance was due, in large part, to his mindset. He was single-minded about his goal, prepared thoroughly, sought out opportunities to hone his skills early, and in each step, he went above and beyond.”
I still remember those teenage years with my sons and their anger, their rebellion, and their struggles. I was exhausted and tired of being the one to take the brunt their anger, tired of being the bad guy all the time, having to enforce all the rules. I often thought I should send them to live with their dad and let him handle all the stuff I was dealing with in our home, but in the end, I had to persevere.
I had decided early on, once I became a mom, that raising my children would be the most important job I would ever have. This was my mindset. This decision drove my career decisions and my dating decisions after I divorced.
I chose to stay low-level in my career in order to be “available” as needed for my sons. We had things that I knew were going to require a lot of emotional energy from me to help us all navigate. I needed to do what I could to be present for those times. I chose to remain single until my sons were grown, trusting God would provide a partner in the right time or full contentment if not. My sons had been through enough and raising them was my focus.
This example is just a small part of life’s struggles, and minor compared to what some people endure, but none of this was easy, life is not easy, and many times I wanted to and could have crawled to the bell to “volunteer out.” Thankfully, because of my faith foundation, and the example of so many others before and around me, I held myself accountable, and allowed others to hold me accountable to keep on fighting the good fight.
As a believer, I am called to persevere, to fight the good fight. In order to do so, I have to decide I am going to fight. I have to set my mind on the ultimate prize, remembering this world is not my home. Heaven is the ultimate prize and finishing well is my goal. I cannot do this on my own.
Like a Mr. Phillips and the preparations he took even before his Navy SEAL training, in order to build my muscles and strengthen my resolve I also have to go above and beyond to build my faith muscles ahead of my trials. I have to take opportunities to strengthen my foundation before I am challenged. I can do this by having a faith community that will support me and hold me accountable, spending time in God’s word to know scripture/truth, and spend time in prayer to know His voice.
Christ was our ultimate example of persevering. It’s the image of Him on the cross that ultimately convicts me to persevere. James 1:12 tells us, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
Fight the good fight! Don’t ring the bell! Be the example for others.
Lesson 2: The importance of the team
“SEALs aren’t a group of solo artists doing Lone Ranger acts. They continually emphasize the importance of their team. SEAL missions are carefully planned, and each member of the team knows his responsibilities, and team members count on each other. If one link of the chain breaks, the consequences can be tragic. SEAL team members also provide key support at critical, and sometimes unexpected junctures. When Phillips lost his regulator and mask on an underwater operation, his dive buddy swiftly came to his aid, immediately knowing that he would share his regulator until Phillips’ safety was assured.”
Ecclesiastes 9:19 tells us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
I honestly do not know where I would be today without so many people and support communities I have been blessed to have throughout my life. We aren’t mean to do this life alone. Through the years I have had many Godly female role models, sisters in Christ, and examples of how we are to disciple one another and bear one another’s burdens.
I will never forget the in-home bible study group in Zionsville, Indiana that I was a part of during the years of raising my teenage sons. That group of men and women sustained me during some very challenging years. They loved me right where I was. I didn’t have to come perfect and all together because I wasn’t perfect or all together.
A specific time when I was “drowning” that stands out in my memory, is something I mentioned in my previous blog, time. It was after the news my two sons had given me, and I was done. I wanted to “ring the bell,” and just tap out! I remember sharing this with this group, but their response was one of community, not separation or shame, but one of critical support at an unexpected juncture. They understood the importance of their role in our lives as Christian brothers and sisters, and they prayed for me.
In Exodus 17, we learn of Joshua who led the Israelites to battle against the Amalekites and Moses was told by God to hold his hands up with the staff of God over his head while the Israelites were fighting the Amalekites and the Israelites would be winning, but his arms grew tired. If he lowered them, the Amalekites were winning. So, Aaron, Moses’ brother, and Hur Moses’ friend held his hands up, one on each side until the sun went down and Joshua overwhelmed the Amalekite army.
This is exactly what this bible study group did for me. They were my Aaron and Hur. When I could not keep my arms lifted to fight anymore because I was broken and weak, they lifted my arms for me. While most of us will never likely lose our regulator and mask on an underwater operation, we will without a doubt need a spiritual buddy to swiftly came to our aid to help us overcome obstacles and lift our arms in the battle until victory is assured.
This is who we are called to be, and this is why we need community.
Lesson 3: Leadership requires a healthy dose of humility
Praying SilhouetteBy: PeteWill
We must create “psychological safety” with those in our lives. This is the awareness that we are a safe place for people to feel, to be open, and to be vulnerable with us. We can’t lead if this isn’t felt.
As humans and especially as leaders, it’s easy to succumb to the temptation to dominate every conversation. Human nature wants to show we’re firmly in charge and that we’ve mastered issues. But if we suck all the oxygen out of the room, there is no place left for discussion, and we send the message that others’ ideas don’t matter.
Motherhood has served me the biggest slice of humble pie ever! Pretty much EVERYTHING I swore prior to being a mother that I would never do as a parent, or that my children would NEVER do, has come to fruition! My kids will all go to college. Umm, not! My kids will never drink or smoke, I will set the example and they will respect me too much to go that route. Not again. LOL!
Though nothing about my life looks like what I bragged it would look like when I was young and full of myself, I love who I am much better today than I did back then. God has used my failures and pride filled falls, as growth opportunities for me that has opened doors for opportunities for me to lead others because people are more willing to listen to and relate to a humbled soul.
I have found that my sons are more open to talk and share when I approach things from a place of humility. I have the opportunity to share God’s faithfulness in my life with others when I am humbled and not self-righteous and prideful. I have learned it takes much more strength to be humble than it does to be proud. The misperception about humility is that it is weakness/meekness. This is a lie of the enemy. (I spoke to meekness in a previous blog, surrender)
We need to remember we have a higher power, greater than ourselves who will fight our battles, and guide us to lead others, whether it’s in our homes, our community, our workplace, wherever. Our role is to, “Humble [ourselves] before the Lord, and he will exalt [us].” (James 4:10)
Lesson 4: Fail to plan and you plan to fail
“The SEALs have a saying: “Two is one. One is none.” For example, does a SEAL have two dive masks or one? If something goes wrong with the first mask, he needs something to fall back on. If he doesn’t plan for the unexpected, his one mask can quickly become none.”
Jesus is our “plan B.” God knew we were going to need a Savior to save us from ourselves, which is usually our plan A.
I assure you, when it comes to walking the life of faith that we are called to walk, your plan A, going it on your own, it’s going to fail. We to need to be prepared to walk this journey. The enemy, Satan, is like a lion just waiting to pounce on us when we are tempted and weak. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
When I think about the betrayals of my first husband: his anger, the brokenness of our home, our divorce, the challenges with my sons, my career struggles…so much brokenness, the only reason I am standing today is because of my foundation in my faith. It was my plan B before I knew it was my plan B, but it had been growing and getting stronger with each bible study I participated in, each sermon I listened to, each time I chose Christian music to fill my head over something else.
Part of walking a Christian life is thinking not only about what is needed to get through today but anticipate and prepare for what is on the horizon.
Lesson 5: Taking the hard path
“When faced with a choice, often there are two alternatives: one easy and the other hard. The hard one is usually the right one. That knowledge is one of the building blocks of integrity.”
“Phillips faced such a challenge during a SEAL training exercise. He was in command of a team that had executed a complex maneuver involving live explosives. During a gear check when the exercise was over, one of his team members found he was one grenade short. Although disclosing this aspect of his team’s performance involved a degree of embarrassment, Phillips dutifully reported it. Explosive ordnance disposal technicians later found the grenade on the training ground. If the lost grenade hadn’t been disclosed, serious repercussions could have resulted.”
“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” (Proverbs 11:3)
As Christians and leaders, sometimes we must deliver unpleasant news or unwelcome messages or take steps to protect the integrity of God’s word. God’s word is clear: that we are called to serve as trusted counselors and advisers. When we’re presented with difficult conversations, do we take the hard or easy choice? We must step up to the plate and do what needs to be done.
I’ll confess; this is often a struggle for me if the subject is controversial or I need to have the conversation with someone I love. Practicing truth in love for some reason, is much easier when it’s with someone less familiar to me than someone I am invested in personally, but my bending of the truth, or passive aggressiveness, or flat-out deceitfulness could have serious, soul altering repercussions. I must choose the hard path.
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” ~Brene Brown
As for me, I will not ring the bell. My lifelong goal, at the end of my journey is to hear the following words…
Well done, well done
My good and faithful one
Welcome to the place where you belong
Well done, well done
My beloved child
You have run the race and now you’re home
Welcome to the place where you belong
(The Five Steps and anything in quotes within those five steps are directly from, Leadership Lessons from a Former Navy SEAL, Stephen E. Roth. Some content within my writing about The Five Steps has also been paraphrased from this same article.)
