when hope lived within

7 Ways to Find Hope in the Midst of the Storm

What sad memory of yesterday
What terrible scar
Keeps you gathering pieces of
Your shattered heart
There was once upon a time
When hope was living within
And I know there will come a time
When you can believe again

Like I Love You-Amy Grant

Songwriters: Amy Grant / Keith Thomas / Wayne Kirkpatrick

Are you tired of holding on to hope?

Have you lost all hope?

Have things of this world left you feeling hopeless?

What heartbreaks have left you hopeless?

Do you remember when you had hope?

What did it feel like?

Do you want to believe in hope again?

Once upon a time I had all kinds of hopes, until I didn’t.

Once upon a time I had hoped I would grow old with my husband, the father of my children, that we wouldn’t be another divorce statistic. I had hoped we would grow closer and closer with age, not oblivious to the work it would require, but that we could weather the storms of life to reach that sweet spot in life and see our children in our grandchildren.

Once upon a time I had hoped my sons would live in a home where their parents loved and respected one another. I had hoped that our holidays would be filled with awesome memories of family and friends. I had hoped my sons would love the Lord and never stray. Once upon a time I had all kinds of hopes, until I didn’t.

We all use the word hope with such whim; I hope I have a good marriage. I hope I get this promotion. I hope I can stick to my diet. I hope my son makes the baseball team. I hope my daughter makes cheerleader. I hope my life plays out as I have planned.

Yes, the word HOPE is a big word used frequently and nonchalantly throughout our days, but what happens to our hope(s) when the walls come crashing down on us, and everything we hoped for is swept away, when all our hopes and dreams crumble right before our eyes?

What is hope to you? What does it mean to have hope? Most of us interchange the words hope and wish as if they are one in the same. I realize it may seem as though I am splitting hairs here but bear with me. There are certain nuances that make a difference and affect our perceptions and expectations.

“Hope and wish have very similar meanings. We use them to express our desire for something different from how it is now. In a nutshell, hope mainly expresses a desire that is possible or likely to happen. Wish usually expresses a desire that is impossible or unlikely to happen.”
(hope-vs-wish)

It's also important to understand the world’s meaning of hope in order to understand why it is so easy to lose hope when those things that we desire to play out a specific way, and that we believe are possible and likely, don’t play out as expected. Hope defined as the world defines it is vague and uncertain. It’s like wishing on a shooting star.

Worldly hope is a hope whose strength lies in the strength of the person’s desires or wishes. Essentially, the world’s hope is a hope telling us that we have the power to bring our hopes into being.

Biblical hope on the other hand is rooted in a higher power, it’s solid, looks more long term, and gives us a foundation to withstand the storms. Biblical hope does not come from within us, but it is a gift God gives to us from the Holy Spirit to empower us in times of trials.

Worldly hope…

1. Can be biased. We often think we deserve so much more than we get. I work hard, harder than most. I hope my hard work pays off and I can retire at 50. If we measure what we hope for in this life versus how things usually play out, by worldly standards, we can lose hope quickly when things fall through.

2. Can set us up for disappointment, defeat, and hopelessness. This happens when we expect what we hope for to come to fruition exactly as we had hoped for, but when it doesn’t we feel defeated and can’t see beyond our current situation. For example, I hoped my marriage would last and my children never have to experience divorce, but here I am, divorced. This felt like failure.

When Worldly Hope Fades

Once upon a time I had all kinds of hopes, until I didn’t. When my marriage fell apart and that dreaded “D” word actually happened, when my sons were being drug around to a million different homes over the holidays, and another woman was being introduced as their new “step-mom,” it was in those moments all my hopes were gone. I felt hopeless, disappointed, and defeated.

It’s natural to have worldly hopes. Some of those hopes we just assume will always be a part of our lives, and there are some that we plan, pursue, and dream about, but when the walls supporting those hopes come crashing down it’s easy to want to quit. Confusion takes over, we tell ourselves we did everything right, how could this be happening.

We ask ourselves, what’s the purpose to keep going, and worst of all, we tell ourselves God is not who he says he is. We question how a good God could allow my home, my family, my hopes to be shattered.

Rebecca Petrie, a Christian woman who suddenly found herself facing life as a quadriplegic, wrote,
“As I meditated on this, it seemed that suffering, rather than causing our hope to disappear, can produce hope. Could there be two different kinds of hope: a natural hope, and a spiritual hope? Through trials we often come to the end of our natural hopes, even hopes that are good. In the beginning this may result in disappointment, discouragement, and even despair. But as we hold on to the Lord, we persevere. I find that this perseverance works character in me. And, almost without realizing it, a new hope is born within my soul. It is Jesus himself, his life, and his love, ‘being poured out in my heart.’
For many of us, we have come through or are still in circumstances in which our natural hope is being tested, and even drained away. But, oh, as we persevere, what a great treasure it is to have fresh hope that will never disappoint us, rooted in the Father’s love.”

Some time ago, many years ago in my journey, I realized I had put all my hopes into worldly/natural hopes and not heavenly/spiritual hopes.

Where Spiritual Hope is Restored

Biblical/spiritual hope is a future certainty, based not on what we have seen, but on who we know holds the future. This certainty gives us joy, peace, and patience in the waiting. No matter our earthly circumstances.

Biblical hope is a hope that looks forward. It is a faith that looks ahead, trusting with a confident belief in the word of God and his promises for our future, even if our “earthly hopes” come crashing down around us.

The hope we receive from God is of the Holy Spirit. It is not something we get based on our own efforts or will. We cannot simply work harder and harder to gain this kind of hope, God pours it into us through the Holy Spirit. It is a gift.

“The ancient Greek word for hope is elpo. The meaning of elpo is to anticipate or welcome – the expectation of what is certain. It is used in the Bible 53 times. Thayer’s Greek Lexicon says, “that in which one confides or to which he flees for refuge.” In other words, it is what you turn to for comfort in life’s struggles.” (Finally Family Homes)

A key word from the above quote is the word struggle. We will all have struggles in our lives. Just because we love God and accept Jesus as our Savior we are not exempt from the trials of this world, but ironically enough, this is where the true meaning of hope is found, in our trials and struggles.

It is easy to feel hopeful when life is good and we aren’t experiencing any challenges, but when my marriage fell apart, when a divorce was inevitable, when I suddenly had no say about another woman being in a “mom” role in my sons lives, and when I couldn’t control the fact that they were being drug around from house after house at the holidays, this is when the sense of hopelessness and defeat crept in.

I was in a storm, and I had to find my way back to hope. I had to find a way to hope/believe that life would get better, to hope/believe that my sons could have a good life in spite of their dad and I and all our mistakes, and that I could heal, and navigate another woman playing “mom” to my sons.

“Hope is a sense that a new and better day is possible, a claim we can only make if we’ve experienced hardship and not given up.
Hope happens when we face and engage fearful things, even though we’d rather run away or build protective walls. It is what happens when we truly grapple with the worst of what the world can bring, when we [act], work hard, trust ourselves and our partners and God, that we will be able to persevere and thrive.
Hope not only faces today’s trouble, it anticipates tomorrow’s, believing that new challenges in a new day, can be met with renewing strength and courage.” ~Pastor Rob Leveridge

You might be saying to yourself, YES! This is what I want! I want to believe a new and better day is possible, but how? Where do I begin to find my way out of that pit of hopelessness and darkness?

Below are steps I took that helped me. It wasn’t an overnight “fix.” It took time, but, I found my foundation, that spiritual hope that surpasses worldly hope by being disciplined, consistent, and putting in the hard work.

7 Ways to Find Hope in the Midst of the Storm

1. Own it. I feel/am hopeless right now.

Jesus isn’t angry when we struggle. He wants to heal our wounds. Naming it and owning it will empower you to begin taking the necessary steps to move ahead. It’s Ok to lose hope. Everyone does from time to time, but don’t let hopelessness own you.

2. Surrender it all to Jesus.

Decide that you will not be driven by your emotions, but rather you will take responsibility for your perspective. You will be grounded and make decisions from a solid foundation. You cannot change what has happened to crush your hope. You can decide how you react.

3. Stand strong and get someone to hold you accountable.

God gave us the ability to solve problems. The end of our worldly hopes is not the end of the eternal hopes God promises us. Do not allow depression to take over. Get help if necessary, a counselor, someone to hold you accountable. God made it clear we aren’t meant to do life alone.

Remind yourself that there is a solution and with God’s help you will find it. It might not look or feel like what you had originally hoped for, but God will give you a newfound hope.

4. Humbly and without delay, turn to God.

Remember who he is, consider all the names he has throughout scripture that are more evidence we can trust in the hope he promises.

Abba (Father)
El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty)
Yahweh (Lord, Jehovah)
Jehovah Raah (The Lord My Shepherd)
Jehovah Rapha (The Lord That Heals)
Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide)
Jehovah Shalom (The Lord Is Peace)

5. Identify your needs and be clear.

I needed God to assure me that I was going to survive all my shattered hopes and dreams. I needed God to give me strength to be the mom my sons needed. I needed to be reminded that I was their mom, and no other woman could take my place. Identifying our needs and praying specifically for them is a critical part of bringing hope back to life.

6. This is potentially one of the hardest steps, letting go!

If we insist on holding on and trying to control and manipulate the situation, we are missing the opportunity for God to restore our hope. Why would we want to limit God’s power in such a time as this? Remember, God is a gentleman. He will never force himself on us.

7. Claim scripture!

Find scriptures that address your needs and claim them as yours. Write them on notecards to post around your home and carry them with you. Sounds extreme, but I promise you it’s effective. As you claim scripture, you will begin to notice over time, your hope will begin to grow again.

Loss of Worldly Hopes Reveals the Temporary Nature of this Life.

Viewing this life as if it is all we are living for will do nothing but prove to be devastating when the bottom falls out and nothing turns out as we had hoped. However, when we learn to view this life as the temporary life that it is, we have a proper perspective of our hopes, and of both our blessings and our sorrows.

Every kind of struggle will one day end, and we are promised, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4, ESV).

Please do not misunderstand, I am not saying to hope for a happy marriage is a bad thing, nor is it bad to hope for good things for our careers, our family, our children. What I am saying, is that hope goes far beyond us, and is much deeper than wanting something to happen or be true. We want the kind of hope that will sustain us through the struggles of this life and that hope is in God and his promises for our future.

I have wrestled with God over many hopes that he has allowed to be stripped away, but watching my elderly mom this past week, in the hospital, having some serious health struggles, it was clear to me that eternal hope, a hope of greater things beyond this world far surpasses anything the hopes of this world can promise.

Our struggles are temporary. No problem will last forever, but faith, hope, and love, things that are eternal will endure. The apostle Paul tells us in (Corinthians 4:17-18 NIV), “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal”

“You might just find that in the hardest times, the bleakest season, you are most fully alive, and truly a person of hope.” ~Pastor Rob Leveridge

Something to consider: Do you know the hope that comes from God? Do you want to know that kind of hope? Do you want to know more about the Holy Spirit’s hope? Reach out to a pastor or a Christian friend today. It’s a gift God is just waiting to give you.

Resources & References: Some content paraphrased from the following resources below.

could-there-be-two-different-kinds-of-hope

steps-to-renew-hope

hope-is-born-from-struggle

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